World’s worst Blue Peter Presenter…

When I was a kid, all I want to be was a TV Presenter and, more to be more precise,  the first Blue Peter Presenter in a Wheelchair.  To me my Wheelchair and the fact that I use one has never been a reason as to why I can’t do things – I wanted, and frankly still do, want to show other young disabled people that just because you face a life altering difficulty in your life doesn’t mean you’re a write off.

 

To become a Blue Peter Presenter, is the holy grail of the Children’s TV land, get that job, and in thousands of kid’s eyes, you become a real life action man or Wonder Woman. Simply unstoppable.

 

So why am I not a Blue Peter Presenter?  Why have I not pursued this dream and made it a reality?  Well I shall tell you why, dear reader.

 

I am rubbish at all the major elements need to be a presenter on Blue Peter. 

 

I AM RUBBISH AT COOKING

It’s not that I’m beyond help when it comes to culinary expertise, I’m just very forgetful, and have a tendency to burn the stuff in the oven or, forget to put a vital ingredient in, even if it’s in front of me, in a bowl.

 

I once baked a cake and forgot to put the sugar in the said cake, it was more like a diet loaf than a cake.

 

And then there was the time I accidentally cracked an egg over a table when making scones, it was the last egg in the house so I scrapped the remanance of the egg that was on the table, that had been vigorously cleaned with Dettol, into the bowl the diners were none the wiser and some said they were the based scones they had ever tasted.

 

Not a good example to children really, is it?

 

I AM THE LEAST ARTISTIC PERSON ON THE PLANET

If you were to give me the items I needed to make a home made TracyIsland and told me to get on with it, leaving me only with a BBC fact sheet for instructions, I would most probably make a hash job of it.

 

As a child, I once tried to follow a BBC Fact sheet to make my Nanna a homemade 3D Christmas Card. I thought I’d done exceptionally well at this until I relized the 3D image I had created was not only upside down, but also on the back of the card instead of the front. 

 

I sent it to Nan anyway who was thrilled with the Card. She still has it somewhere, I think she’s just being nice, if it were me it’d have gone in the bin.

 

I’M NOT KEEN ON ANIMALS

I don’t trust Cats, there’s something about them that makes me think they’d be the kind of animal who would slag you off behind their back, and I don’t like dribbly, over excitable dogs, that jump all over you and don’t leave you be.  I think it’s because I can’t run off if they were to turn bitey and aggressive

 

I’M SCARED OF EVERYTHING

Rollercoasters, Heights, Confined spaces, Animals, Deep water, The Dark, you name it I’m petrified of it, I’d be the most scared presenter since Yvette Fielding.

 

If you really think about it I would be awful. Add the fact that as a Blue Peter Presenter you can’t be seen partying, drinking, snogging and generally letting your hair down at all, it made me realise that maybe I’m not such a good role model after all, and would probably end up in the Executive Producers office for having made a tit of myself again.

 

I am like the real version of TV’s Miranda. 

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