Manners maketh Man

I’ve never been a massive fan of Disabled People. This might be hard for some of my readers to understand, but it is unfortunately the truth. Of course, I don’t dislike all disabled people, I’ve been so lucky in the fact that I have had friends from both sides. Able and the less able, and I’m thankful for it, I think it’s given me a well rounded and deeper appreciation of what I have and how lucky I am, but I still stand by the fact that me and the Disabled People I’m often found myself pigeonholed with don’t get on.

Many of the less abled people I see, have a chip on their shoulder, looking for someone to blame and approach life with a poisonous attitude to life, existing firmly in the belief that life hates them so they hate life.

I can’t live like that. I am so appreciative of the fact that I get to live here, on this planet, yes. It isn’t quite how any of us had envisaged it, but I’d rather be here than not, my life is not a complete disaster and I am still afble to do so much, despite the hurdles I face.

I am very aware that I have limits to what I can do though and I’m under no illusions that I need assistance with daily tasks. I’m not afraid to ask or except help from anyone who offers or gives it.

I recently read an article by Comedian, Laurence Clark, who I have been a fan of for a while. Laurence has Cerebral Palsy and uses his experience in life to build successful comedy routines. in the article, ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy: When disabled people get nasty’ he talks openly about how he’s often not very nice to the public.

In my view, Laurence is not only, quite frankly being a bit of an arsehole, but he is also doing something that could be a detriment to the disabled community, him and many others in fact..

Let me explain.. you see, I know that the vast majority of people are well meaning, we live in a society where the phrase ‘Random Acts of Kindness’ is encouraged, something that in a world that can be so vile, I can appreciate.  I know I’m never going to live as independently as I’d like, therefore I need some help.

I will never get this help if I snap snarl and shout at these well meaning strangers, and so long as they ask if I need help and don’t do it out of pity or the belief that my life is one huge struggle then I will always be polite.

You want to help, pass me something of a shelf in the Supermarket?  or pick that Sandwich I dropped on the floor up.. Please go ahead, Thank you very much.

My life is hard enough as it is to be full so full of my own self respect that I want to struggle needlessly.

Imagine if I wasn’t polite, firstly my Mother would be mortified and secondly it would have consequences. Imagine I shouted at you with a growl and acidic for offering to help me, pick my bag up of the floor,  If you just left me to it and then four months later saw another disabled person struggling to carry their shopping.. You may think, ‘No way am I helping them, last time I did, I got a right ear full’.  You’d be well within your right. I’d feel them same.

But that second encounter could be someone who’s like me and be quite open to a helping hand. Being rude does more damage than good and does nothing to help promote the fact that disabled people, or most at least, are easy going and don’t walk round in doom and gloom to miserable to live.

We all have bad days, I am by no admission a saint whatsoever. I can occasionally snap, but I instantly feel guilty and will apologize for it immediately, I hate the thought of anybody being upset or offended by my actions.

Manners cost nothing, some well meaning people can make things a bit more long winded than necessary but I will never be rude and tell them that to there face, unless it’s going to cause harm to me.

I’m glad that there are nice people still left in the world, it’s all to easy to focus in how bad the world has gotten rather than the nice things that happen.

I just hope the Disabled people who are mean, don’t put people who want to help others. kill the kindness in people that’s left in the world.

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