Disappointing Disability Dates… A true story of a massive Arsehole

My love life is often the hot topic of conversation between Friends, they can’t understand why I’m single and I am often told what I could do to improve my chances with the male species. Growing my hair and try drinking wine instead of pints, have been two of the more ridiculous suggestions from my mates.

Of course the reason why I’ve been single for the longest amount of time in human history I’d because of my situation. At first glance my wheelchair can be a bit of a distraction from the nice person in it and is often, frustratingly a deal breaker. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

People frequently ask me if I have ever considered dating a fellow disabled person, after allwe would have such common ground, and a deeper understanding of the struggles we have? Right?

Well, the awnser is, yes I have considered it. And I have briefly dated someone who was like Me before, but it’s never been something I’ve been a fan of. Love shouldn’t be based solely on the convenience of the exact same situation of both parties. Love should compliment each other and not be born out of disabled issues.

Don’t get me wrong, if this presented itself in the form of a fellow disabled lover, I wouldn’t hesitate to eat my words, but the truth is other the majority of disabled people are knobheads. Before you recoil in horror, I have startling evidence that I will be proved right.

Last week I got talking to a Man my age on Internet Dating, things were going well and when I broached the subject of my disability, he said he wasn’t bothered, as he had Cerebral Palsy too, but his just effected him very mildly.

We were getting on well, so instead of bolting for the door I continued to chat. He was charming, and interested in me and, like me he didn’t seem the type to get pitiful about his situation.

A few days in however and there was a side to him developing I didn’t like, he would get upset if I didn’t say hello, and wouldn’t believe me when I said that the only reason I hadn’t was because I was busy with work or that I was at a family gathering and didn’t want to appear rude to family by replying to his messages all day.

I’d pay him compliment and he’d question every element of it asking why and questioning every element.

The constant accusations, we’re too much for me so I politely told him that I didn’t think this was going to work, I advised that maybe he should chill out a bit and go with the flow, after all dating is meant to be fun and exciting, I wished him well, and let it be and thought no more of it..

Last night at 2am I received a barrage of messages, this was the general jist:

Hi.
I just want to wish you luck in searching for Mr Right, Glad my time was wasted I mean, I love my time being wasted. NOT!

I understand that you can’t see through my CP. Oh well, never mind. 99.9% of women. Pity really! I do whole heartedly believe that your ‘disability’ is a front and possibly fictional, who knows..

It went on, I could continue, but I won’t..

But his messages were extremely offensive and goes some way to show others that disabled people are not empathetic, we don’t swap stories and encourage each other to be strong and confident, instead they play a sick game of disability top trumps, bitching about how no one understands and playing the tortured soul act.

I cannot be with any person able or not, in any form, romantic or otherwise who is hell bent on becoming an outcast in society.

And I’m not easily offended, but to question if my disability is made up is a new low I’m fact, I think it maybe the worst remark I have ever had directed at me. Who’d have thought I’d be a fellow disabled person to deliver the blow..

Maybe I live in a fairy tale land, we’re love is a belief that I hold on to, I can’t help it. I was born into an era when the Disney Princess franchise was in it’s infancy and there for rammed down your throat, twice as much as it is these days.

If I’m honest with you, this whole experience has left me disheartened a little, I don’t even see the day when someone outside of my close knot friends and family takes a shine to me.

I know that there is so much more to life than love, but I am only too aware of the feeling I’m missing out on something so lovely. It just doesn’t seem fair…

Date someone who is like me? Errr no thanks.. I’d rather be single!

One thought on “Disappointing Disability Dates… A true story of a massive Arsehole

  1. What a sad experience! Sadly its like that everywhere but somehow less understandable with your story. I find most men are knobs, yours seem to top mine. I hope he turns out to be the exception rather than the rule. Don’t settle for second best you sound like a really nice and funny person. I look forward to reading more of your blogs. Shared outlooks can only enhance. However sad and disheartening the blog was your humour shone through. Be happy. If I could send you a hug I would

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